I was sitting and I thought "What’s the point?"

What’s the point of donating money to charities when the poverty never ends?

What’s the point of fighting for human rights, when there are large countries trying to do exactly the opposite?

What’s the point of technological development when the first place we use it for is war?

What’s the point of spending 50 years of the prime of your youth working hard; just so that you have enough money to enjoy the last 15 years of old age?


What’s the point of complaining about house prices, traffic, the overpopulation and the busy city life when you can easily move to a beautiful rural area and have a much better life, but you still choose not to?

What’s the point of telling people what is right and wrong, when you yourselves over time keep changing your mind?

What’s the point of reading the paper, when the news really is always pretty much the same?

What the point of things like mobiles, LED TV’s, Internet, Cars, IPods, weren’t we as happy even without them?

What’s the point of searching for happiness, when to find it you must first find sadness?

What’s the point of having children when we ourselves don’t know what the point of it all is?

What’s the point of thinking, when all it does is take you into a dream world inside your head and stops  you from appreciating what’s in front of you?

What’s the point of this article? There is none, it just shows you that there is in fact no point to anything. We are here right now, and there is nothing else to think about.

I have more than you

I was walking down the street tonight looking for dinner. I walked towards a small restaurant and on the way a woman was picking rubbish with her little daughter following her around. She looked at me put her arms forward, I looked at her and opened my arms saying ' I cant help you'... In my head I am thinking ' I am just a volunteer I don't have that much money' and I kept walking.. she smiled and I kept walking.. I walked thinking ' But I have more than you'.

I walked bought a coke and some food. I ate and walked again... I thought ' I cannot keep giving money to every poor person, there is no end to it. I wish I had lots of money, I would help.... But I don't. I am almost promoting begging by giving money or anything to this woman and child.. That is wrong and there should be a better system to deal with all this.. I have a huge student loan to pay, I have barely any money left to last me the next 2 months, I cannot solve this problem. I am just one person. There are so many of you. I walked and no I did not feel sad or felt like I was a bad person who is not helping. I just had one thought.. ' But I have more than you'... You are sitting now on the pavement and your child lying next to you.. I had dinner you are still there waiting... Shouldn't there be something in place to take care of you?'... I cant help you... ' Although I can'... I don't have much money..'But I have more than you'...

I walked and bought some food it cost me $1 and walked towards them... They had gotten up and I saw them at a distance walking back home maybe... Its late at night now.. 'Have you had dinner?...' I caught up to them and was just behind them and without me saying anything she without seeing me turned around and I handed the bag of food to her... It lasted half a second she looked at me as I gave the bag and she smiled and I kept walking...

Nothing makes sense in this world.. 'But I have more than you.. That's all I know..'

So Burma... Hows it going?

Well its been over a month here, and for one thing I didn't have to trek 8 hours uphill on a mountain to get to my town unlike my last volunteer experience. Its not a pretty place, its a border town, its dusty, brownish tinge to everything, full of trucks, illegal migrants,illegal drug trafficking(not there is anything such as legal drug trafficking :-)), illegal businesses, corrupt cops, Burmese government spies, Rebel leaders, add to that its one of the poorest places I imagine within Thailand.. Although considering 80% of people here are Burmese its hard to call it part of Thailand anymore.

I know most people don't know much about Burma (Myanmar its new name) but more you learn about it, the sadder it gets... In a nutshell I will tell you the problem in Burma..

It is run by a fascist military government, who are as corrupt as corruption can be.. They have completely lost any moral standing with the Burmese people and the international community. They are not spending a penny on improving the country and instead are selling off their natural resources to many countries.. China being one of them.. not surprisingly ( When was the last time China stood for anything but money), many countries do have economic sanctions on Burma but it is not working... AT ALL!.. The government kills any sign of protest for democracy within the country... Human rights no longer apply in this country, free speech is a mythical rumour, equality between races is not an option... There is constant rebellion by the minority groups, the democracy seeking people and the monks who seek the end to the military government.. In short it is a big mess... And millions are suffering.. I talked to some people who have run away and it is one sad story after another...

There are many Burmese families living in my towns Rubbish Dump. Right in the middle of it, with the rats, the the flies, and with the diseases that surround them... They live here cause they have no money and also so that the Thai police don't deport them back to Burma. They find this a better place to stay than living in Burma.. This is how bad life is in their country....

SO WHAT AM I DOING IN THE MIDST OF THIS BIG MESS... ?

I am working as a teacher with a group of University graduates from Burma. These students have illegally come into Thailand for this course and hope to come out with some more knowledge about English, the problems is Burma, the changes they can make etc.. I am involved in an intensive 3 month course teaching these students Democracy, Human Rights, Computer Studies, and Burmese History. The main aim of the course is to take these underprivileged but determined students to go to University in Thailand, where they can get a proper education that will help their country in the future. These students are applying for scholarships setup by NGO's and to get them they must meet the right educational criteria, and I am supposed to bring them up to that level of education.

So I teach and try to make them understand what is wrong in Burma and how to best deal with it. It has been a very satisfying experience thus far, as I live with the students and gotten to know them at a personal level. For eg. I was marking an Essay they had to write on their family life, and while marking I came to tears just reading their life story. In such simple words the girl told me her life, of no money, no future, parents doing all they can to make their child go to school. Siblings working as maids in cities for $10 a month, so that the younger one's can have an education... They are fighting for the most basics of life... Its touching at a level that you must see to believe.. While I am teaching them, often I seem to forget that back home they barely have any future, and without help they are back to poverty. You see them in class all so happy, singing and smiling, and you forget that they are living on the edge and the drop is far more than I can imagine. I can write pages on their lives, but it all points to one message as written by a student.. "I want to become a somebody one day, but everything in my life is holding me back from my dreams. But I will fight till the end."

Every evening I also go to a nearby monastery and work with ex political prisoners and refugees who happen to be monks who ran away to Thailand. All of them young and old are determined to learn English. Many of them are being given asylum by the US soon, and these monks are keen to be able to speak and voice their opinion on the problems in their country. Working with this group is a special experience, I learn as much as I teach. I have met very interesting people while being here, and got inside information on the situation in Burma.

I have gone to some NGO's housing orphans from human trafficking victims, one of the houses I walked in, I had nearly 40 little children came running to wards me.. These are cute little boys and girls wanting what all kids want, Affection and Love.. They need to to be stimulated, and the poor NGO has only a few staff who are very busy just being able to feed, clothe, and teach these kids... Getting a visitor is like the biggest toy for them... I was there for an hour or two and the kids were literally hanging of my hands and feet.. all wanting to play.. I lifted one little girl and swung her around, and then all of them wanted a go.. Needless to say after 30 'round the world' swings I was very dizzy :-). Unfortunately I couldn't help but feel sadness when I left.. Little beautiful kids and babies, all alone without any parent to give them affection... It seems so unfair..

Time is flying..... Another couple of months and I will leave... But the work will go on.. Until the Military government of Burma is not removed no positive change is possible. They will suffer and they will get poorer... Something has to give Or the future is no future at all..

I am sorry if all my blogs point to the same direction, but where I am this is all you see... Life is not visibly beautiful here.. But one thing I can tell you is that they are still smiling.. all of them.. the young and the old... sharing what they have with me... I only wish I could give more..

yours,

Anukool - ' The man with no plans :-) ' .. Oh by the way its not all bad.. Angelina Jolie was here.. thats right! in themiddle of my dusty little town... adopting another Burmese child...I tried to pass of as a burmese child, but somewhow it didnt work... : -)

Here are some pictures to get a glimpse of what I see....

This world is a poorly constructed joke...

When I was young I often wondered what this world was about and eagerly wanted to know what was happening where... Now that I know, I have lost that curiosity along with the wondering smile.

People might read this and go, "what a pessimist!". Why? because I talk about the 'bad' things happening everywhere and that ruins your day. Ignoring the world we live in and narrowing your life down to the little world that revolves around your home,the streets you drive your car in till you reach your workplace, and then the drive to your shopping mall, is what I would call living in a 'dreamworld'. If there were people getting shot and tortured inside your house, on the streets, you would be like what the hell is wrong with this world... Why do you need to witness everything first hand to realise there is a problem and accept it.

I am not saying to sit down and cry about it, just realise what is happening right this moment all around the world. If you are complaining about the traffic jam, the man who no longer loves you, the mortgage payments, the unhappy child, the promotion at work... Think again.. You my friend have no problems, none whatsoever. People who have actual problems are getting raped, tortured, dying of hunger, crying as they watch their parents being burnt.. All you have is self created problem in your head and are now complaining to yourself. I have no sympathy for you, none whatsoever. If you are sitting somewhere depressed cause life is so boring, I have no friends, I am too old, I have no partner, my friends are doing better than me.. Then come to this side of town and tell them your problems. They will look at you and wonder what you are saying. They wont understand, they will look at you as a child who has a broken toy, but has hundreds others to play with, yet is crying cause THIS one is broken.

I cannot even put to words the things people go through and still manage a smile on their faces. These are just the one's I have met, 20 years in jail in solitary confinement(24 hours a day)for saying that the government is not helping its people, dead parents and she doesnt know why, no money to buy the next meal, 30 children crying and wanting to be loved, but nobody is there to hold themm Coz their mothers were trafficked to the brothels of Thailand, This is not an advertisement on TV, this my friends is life, life out there a few hours away on a plane. This is the world where I live, you live, the one where we all live. You're not so far neighbor is suffering, suffering in the true sense. His body does not have means of survival, and yet when he talks he smiles...

I look at them, and look back at my own self and the thoughts that bother me, the ones that bother my family, my friends, our society, everyday thoughts that I see you complain about. I am sorry to say this but you have lost the right to complain about the problems you face, the mental issues you have created in your head are just a wandering thought. If I remove the water, food and your house, all of a sudden you will realize you had no troubles at all. There are people who are living on the brink of survival, with no secure future of having food to eat and yet they laugh with me. They have all the right reasons in our world to be depressed, frightened, full of fear. But they instead look at the world and say "it's alright", "it will be fine". Then there are the people in our glorious First world, who have everything you need and much more, but still want more, and keep praying to god and saying why has he forgotten them..

Many of you might say, "of course, I already know all this", but I am with you when you complain, I hear you say that you need something more and then you will be little more satisfied and happy. You must STOP acting as if there is a problem, I want you to look at each moment in your life and be happy and content. You have been lucky enough to experience that moment and yet you let it pass by. There are billions of people who would dream to be in the position you are in today...

I don’t want you to feel sorry for them, or feel obliged to give donations, or spend a few months helping the poor. Just be grateful for the life you are blessed with and next time you feel deprived or incomplete, or hard done by..... THINK AGAIN!