I was walking down the street tonight looking for dinner. I walked towards a small restaurant and on the way a woman was picking rubbish with her little daughter following her around. She looked at me put her arms forward, I looked at her and opened my arms saying ' I cant help you'... In my head I am thinking ' I am just a volunteer I don't have that much money' and I kept walking.. she smiled and I kept walking.. I walked thinking ' But I have more than you'.
I walked bought a coke and some food. I ate and walked again... I thought ' I cannot keep giving money to every poor person, there is no end to it. I wish I had lots of money, I would help.... But I don't. I am almost promoting begging by giving money or anything to this woman and child.. That is wrong and there should be a better system to deal with all this.. I have a huge student loan to pay, I have barely any money left to last me the next 2 months, I cannot solve this problem. I am just one person. There are so many of you. I walked and no I did not feel sad or felt like I was a bad person who is not helping. I just had one thought.. ' But I have more than you'... You are sitting now on the pavement and your child lying next to you.. I had dinner you are still there waiting... Shouldn't there be something in place to take care of you?'... I cant help you... ' Although I can'... I don't have much money..'But I have more than you'...
I walked and bought some food it cost me $1 and walked towards them... They had gotten up and I saw them at a distance walking back home maybe... Its late at night now.. 'Have you had dinner?...' I caught up to them and was just behind them and without me saying anything she without seeing me turned around and I handed the bag of food to her... It lasted half a second she looked at me as I gave the bag and she smiled and I kept walking...
Nothing makes sense in this world.. 'But I have more than you.. That's all I know..'
that brought tears to my eyes....
ReplyDeleteincredible writing....and of course incredible experiences
Truth be said my heart sank when I was walking after giving the food as well.. I don't know why... I did what I had to do at that moment... But the situation was a little humbling..
ReplyDeletewell well well - are we not all sufering in some way or the other - some physically, some mentally and some financially on personal, family, society or country level. The situation is very humbling and being THANKFUL for all we have - almost nothing to complain. For a person who is not too much attached to body and body relations can selflessly help to whatever capacity he/she can and that is it, as we are not Gods and can solve all the problems in this world. I know its easily said than done - but that is the goal of my life.
ReplyDeleteso what ur saying sunny is when u get bak u want me 2 give u shit cause i have more than u atm :P haha
ReplyDelete